Your Perfect Life: A Novel Read online

  Waking up in her own bed the morning after John’s party, Casey muffled her screams with her pillow after discovering Charlie curled up beside her and then her own naked body under the sheets. (Although she did slightly miss the comfort of Rachel’s Ebenezer Scrooge–like nightgown and made a mental note to invest in one.) She may have been out of a job, but in her eyes, her future had never been more exciting. She lay in bed for hours, watching Charlie sleep and contemplating her next career move. When Charlie finally stirred, she leaned over and kissed him deeply, realizing it was the first time in more than a year that she had done that. It felt good—damn good—but more important, it felt right. “I have an idea,” she announced. C&C Productions was born that morning, Casey feeling more than ready to be on the other side of the camera and Charlie, still smarting from his experience with the GossipTV network executives, wanting to be in charge of his own career for a change.

  Rachel glances up at the C&C PRODUCTIONS sign they’d hung last month on the wall in their humble office on Santa Monica Boulevard, bursting with pride all over again at the perfect logo designed by Audrey. She had shyly handed over a draft and asked if they’d please consider it. Rachel, taken aback by Audrey’s talent, had run her hand over the intricate design: two C’s intertwined with an infinity symbol underneath it, signifying eternity. “It symbolizes Aunt Casey and Charlie’s love and also your friendship with her,” Audrey had said profoundly, sounding so much older than her years. Rachel had secretly slipped her design into the pile with the others, not wanting Casey and Charlie to know who’d created it, understanding that Casey would instantly choose it if she knew it was Audrey’s. Rachel wanted them to select it because it was the best, and she felt confident that it was. When she came to work the next day to find Audrey’s design sitting on her sleek black desk with a Post-it note stuck to it that read, LOVE this one, what do you think?, she fingered the paper in her hand, her heart swelling with pride.

  Rachel’s cell phone buzzed and she looked down. “I’ve got to run in a few minutes,” she says as she grabs her jacket off the chair. “John’s taking me to see Coldplay tonight,” she says, a happy smile playing on her lips. This makes Casey smile too. She’d been enjoying watching the two of them fall back in love, John fully supporting Rachel’s decision to accept Charlie and Casey’s offer to work with them. She’d refused a title, saying that she was too green, instead wanting to dig in and learn every aspect of developing and producing projects first. Turns out, not only was Rachel a natural in front of the camera, she was also a mean negotiator, joking that dealing with her two teenagers had taught her how to play hardball. She’d been responsible for getting them the fantastic deal on the cozy office space in Santa Monica where they’d set up shop, later confiding in Casey that she couldn’t remember the last time she’d been so happy. Casey had smiled and said, “I know exactly how you feel.”

  “How’s your other project going?” Charlie asks Casey.

  “Great! All the paperwork is in, and they’ll be out to interview me in a few weeks,” Casey replies.

  “I still can’t believe you’re actually going through with it,” Destiny interjects from across the room. “Not that I don’t think you’d be a great mom. But who would have thought?”

  “I know, right?” Casey reaches up for Charlie’s hand and squeezes it. She had made her decision to begin the adoption process after one too many nights of stepping inside her empty high-rise apartment to nothing more than the sound of the buzzing refrigerator. She’d felt an ache as she observed the silence—deciding she had to do something to fill it—tired of missing the sound of Charlotte’s laugh and even the girls’ bickering. She’d stayed up half the night researching adoption, and when Charlie showed up the next morning, her vanilla latte in his hand, she told him her plans, nervously detailing the process and even reading him the email she sent the director of the most reputable adoption service she could find. Did he think she was crazy?

  After she’d become “herself” again, she’d taken Charlie for a walk on the beach and told him about the date rape, her mom, the clinic, everything. She’d begun to cry as she declared she was sorry she’d never confided in him; she was sorry for freaking out on him; sorry for it all. He’d grabbed her elbow as she paced in the wet sand, spun her toward him, and said, “No. I’m sorry that ever happened to you. I’m sorry that you ever had to go through that.” She hadn’t realized how much she needed to hear those words.

  She held her breath as she waited for Charlie’s reaction to her decision to adopt. She was completely committed to moving forward with or without him. So much so that she’d already asked a Realtor to put her condo on the market and was searching for houses in Santa Monica. She loved him—yes, she’d finally said it back—but becoming a mother was something she needed to do, regardless of his response. If she had learned anything from losing her identity, it was that she had to be true to who she really was.

  Charlie stood silent for a moment and finally turned to face her. “I think anyone would be lucky to have you in their life,” he said simply before kissing her softly. “I know I am.”

  Casey blushed and rested her head on his shoulder. “I just feel like it’s something I have to do.”

  “Then do it,” he said, his eyes bright, remembering Casey’s recent confession to him about what happened to her in high school, understanding why she needed this. “I’ll be there for you every step of the way.”

  Relief flooded her body. He is the man I thought he was. “Thank you.”

  Later that day, she called her mom and told her what she was planning, speaking so rapidly she had to slow down and start over. After she finished speaking, she was met with silence. Then she had heard the tears. Her mom, who had never been emotional, not even when Casey was bedridden and sobbing for three days after what happened to her on prom night, was now crying. Loudly. “Oh, honey. I think . . . I think that’s the best news I’ve heard in a long time.”

  “Do you think I’ll be a good mom?” Casey asked in a small voice.

  “I think you’ll be a much better mom than I’ve been.” She sighed. “And I can’t wait to be a grandmother.” She called out for Casey’s dad and put the phone on speaker, and for the first time in as long as she could remember, neither of them asked one question about whatever celebrity was topping the headlines that week.

  The pop of a champagne cork jolts Casey from her thoughts and she ducks as it comes flying past her head, an embarrassed Destiny shouting, “Sorry!” from across the room.

  For her part, Rachel was surprised by how easy it had been to go back to work, especially considering she’d never had a job outside of the home before—at least not as Rachel Cole. Charlotte was thriving with the nanny and things with Sophie had changed dramatically since Rachel took her for a girls’ day out and told her she was sorry for not noticing how much of her attention Charlotte had consumed. Rachel couldn’t believe how quickly Sophie’s entire demeanor had changed after hearing those words. Rachel glances in the mirror in the kitchenette just a few feet from her desk and runs her fingers through her hair, the short, sassy bob that Casey’s hairdresser, Jose, had talked her into getting last week still feeling foreign.

  Do it! Casey had texted her. If we’ve learned anything this past year, it’s that taking risks is good for you. And so Rachel had nodded her head yes and squeezed her eyes shut as the hair she had coveted for twenty years fell to the floor. When she walked into the office later, she stood nervously next to her desk, clutching the bag filled with styling gels, awaiting Casey and Destiny’s reaction. But they’d loved her new ’do, marveling at the way it brought out her cheekbones. “It’s like you’re a completely different person,” Charlie finally uttered after a long silence. Yes, she thought. I am. And John had loved it too, scooping her up in the doorway when she’d arrived home that night and taking her straight to the bedroom. “Wow, I guess you like my new look.” Rachel laughed through John’s kisses. “Maybe I’ll dress up for you nex
t week!”

  “I’m out of here,” Rachel calls as she grabs her sunglasses and places them on her head.

  “Wait!” Casey calls. “We haven’t toasted yet!” she says as she quickly fills each champagne glass, trying to stop the foam from spilling over. Rachel grabs a glass, Destiny and Charlie joining them.

  Casey gives Rachel a quick glance. Toasting would never be quite the same experience for them after what had happened.

  “To us!” Rachel calls out as they clink glasses before she looks over at Charlie. “And to Charlie finally winning over Casey’s Facebook fans,” she says with a laugh, referring to the latest poll there, Do you think Casey and Charlie should get engaged? More than 80 percent of them had answered Hell, yes!

  Charlie smiles widely. “I’ll drink to that!” he says before leaning closer to Casey. “And to love,” he whispers, clinking his glass to hers.

  “Yes,” she agrees. “To love.”

  Acknowledgments

  Thankful. No other word seems to sum up this experience quite as well.

  None of this would have been possible without our incredible editor, Greer Hendricks at Atria Books, who is just as smart and kind as we thought she’d be and didn’t seem to mind that we had been harboring a major girl crush on her for years. Thanks also to our publisher, the wonderful Judith Curr! And we also appreciate Sarah Cantin, who is an absolute delight to collaborate with. And thank you to our rock star publicity team, Bobbilyn Jones, Kathleen Zrelak, and Megan Beatie.

  We are still pinching ourselves that we get to work with Elisabeth Weed—she had been at the very top of our agent list for years and has far surpassed our expectations—she’s gracious, lovely, and insanely talented. And to Dana Murphy, you’re the best!

  We owe a huge debt of gratitude to those of you who have followed our journey for the past five years on our website, Chick Lit Is Not Dead. You have no idea how much your unwavering support has propelled us to keep following our dream. And a huge high-five to our fellow book bloggers—we feel lucky to know you all.

  Thank you, Emily Heckman. Your incredible editing notes and cheerleading were just what we needed. And you performed a miracle by helping us work through our unhealthy obsession with dashes! For those of you in need of a sharp freelance editor—look her up. You won’t regret it.

  We’ve also had the pleasure of getting to know several authors who have been incredibly supportive and whose own books have inspired us. Much thanks! And an extra-special shoutout to the amazing Sarah Pekkanen, who believed in us from the beginning. Simply put, we wouldn’t be here without you.

  Big love to our beautiful families and close friends, who cheered us on for years—we can’t put into words how much we’ve relied on your support. To our moms and beta readers, thank you for always giving pointed feedback, even when you knew we didn’t want to hear it. And to our children—we hope our journey inspires you to believe anything is possible.

  To Kenan, who uttered the first line of this book after a very memorable girls’ night out many years ago. Thanks for the inspiration!

  And to Mike and Matt, our two good men who have stood by as we doggedly pursued our publication dream, “thank you” doesn’t seem like enough. You believed in us always—even when we had lost faith in ourselves. Your loyalty has meant everything and this moment belongs to each of you, as well. We love you.

  We’re also incredibly grateful that our friendship has withstood the test of time—over twenty-five years of door slamming and hugs, of tears and laughter. We hope this novel makes you want to pick up the phone and catch up with an old friend who knows you better than you know yourself.

  xoxo,

  Liz & Lisa

  your perfect life

  liz fenton

  and

  lisa steinke

  A Washington Square Press

  Readers Club Guide

  QUESTIONS AND TOPICS FOR DISCUSSION

  1. How did you interpret the title of the novel? Did switching lives show Rachel and Casey that the other’s life wasn’t as perfect as it seemed, did it make them see that their own life was pretty perfect as it was—or is the answer somewhere in between?

  2. What do you think the book is saying about “having it all”? Is such a thing attainable? What does “having it all” end up meaning for each of the protagonists?

  3. Who are the people in Casey and Rachel’s lives who seem most attuned to the shift in their behavior and personality after they’ve switched bodies? Who seems to most recognize that something is not what it should be? Consider the significance of these particular individuals—what does it say about each woman’s relationship with them?

  4. As Rachel and John enter the reunion holding hands and smiling, she thinks, “It’s funny how quickly we can transform into the people we ought to be.” In this moment, Rachel “pretending” to be a version of herself that she doesn’t feel seems to have negative connotations. But when she and Casey switch lives, “pretending” becomes a necessity, and even leads to positive things for each of them. How does “faking it” ultimately prove to be empowering for both women?

  5. On the surface, Casey’s life might seem more glamorous than Rachel’s. What are the cons of being Casey that you wouldn’t have anticipated? And what are the pros of being Rachel that you might not have recognized?

  6. What are some of the hard truths about themselves that Casey and Rachel are only able to see once they switch places?

  7. As her relationship with Audrey blossoms, Casey remarks, “The one thing I’ve learned since being her mom is that having a teenager is a bit like dating a new guy; you can’t let them know how bad you want it.” In what other ways do Casey and Rachel use experiences from their “real” lives to help inform the decisions they make while they are switched? What unique skills are they able to bring to their best friend’s life?

  8. When Casey and Rachel visit Jordan, the psychic, she says, “You already have the answer to switching back and it’s right in front of you. You need to think about why you switched in the first place and that will lead you to how you switch back.” Discuss what enables Casey and Rachel to finally switch back. What had to happen for this to become possible?

  9. Consider how certain dynamics and fixed roles can develop in long-term friendships. How did this apply to Casey and Rachel at the beginning of the novel, and how has it changed by the end?

  10. Which of your friends would you most trust to take over your life? What is it about this person—perhaps their personality traits, or your shared history—that makes them the best suited for the job? Which friend’s life would you most want to test out—and do you think your answer is different having now read Your Perfect Life? Are these two friends one and the same, or are they different?

  11. There’s an old adage that you need to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes before you can really understand them. In the case of Your Perfect Life, could it also be said that you need to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes to really understand yourself ?

  ENHANCE YOUR BOOK CLUB

  1. Bring your high school yearbook to your next book club meeting. Share how you feel you have changed since high school—and what you feel has stayed the same.

  2. Rachel makes Casey a very detailed “How to Be Rachel” list to help her get through the days. Make your own “How to Be Me” list and consider sharing with the group. Try to think of everything that even your best friend might not know about your routine, your home, or your family.

  3. Pretend that you are the casting director for the film version of Your Perfect Life. Who would you cast as Rachel and Casey? Who would play John and Charlie? What about Destiny and Audrey?

  4. Speaking of films, consider watching one of the many movies that take the idea of “switching lives” as their central theme (Freaky Friday, Sliding Doors, Trading Places, The Change-Up, etc.). As a group, consider what it is about these kinds of stories that fascinate us so much. What desires do these narratives tap into? What do the c
ommon lessons of each seem to be?

  LIZ FENTON & LISA STEINKE have been best friends for twenty-five years and survived high school and college together. Liz lives in San Diego, CA, with her husband and two children. Lisa, a former talk show producer, now lives in Chicago, IL, with her husband, daughter, and two bonus children. You can find them on their website, www.lizandlisa.com, and on twitter: @lizandlisa.

  MEET THE AUTHORS, WATCH VIDEOS AND MORE AT

  SimonandSchuster.com

  authors.simonandschuster.com/Liz-Fenton

  authors.simonandschuster.com/Lisa-Steinke

  Facebook.com/AtriaBooks

  @AtriaBooks

  We hope you enjoyed reading this Atria Books eBook.

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  This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.